Extreme Sports Meditation

Ladies and Gentleman…let me introduce our two contenders…in the right corner…weighing in at a powerful 10 days of grueling silence…combined with 10 hours per day of meditation…no contact with the outside world…and a brutal left hook…Vipassana ‘Kickin’ it like the Buddha said’ Meditation.

In the left corner…weighing in at an embarrassing 165 pounds…with bad knees and ankles…a constant need to be productive…already emotionally retarded…and a hardly noticeable right jab…Errol ‘What am I doing here’ Philip….

That’s right folks…this youngster from Australia…with absolutely no idea what he is getting himself into…is taking on the extreme sports of meditation…a no holds barred…take no prisoners…approach to enlightenment. A ten day…no speaking, no eye contact, no gesturing, no emails, no phones, no books or writing material, total silence, up at 4am…bed by 9pm…11 hours of meditation in between…heaven or hell…who can tell…experience.

So yes indeed it was an ‘experience’. One of the most challenging and amazing ones I have been through. The first two days were full of pure physical agony as I quickly realized that for some uniquely comical reason - my left shoulder is unable to support my left arm. Granted my biceps are licensed weapons in the state of Indiana…but this did come as a surprise. By the fourth day I had conceded defeat trying to find a ‘comfortable’ position - my pillow somehow transforming into concrete when I sat on it…and regardless of how I managed to wedge certain limbs into position – I would be in pain by the thirty minute mark. I would sit and watch people build couches around themselves, or mentally strangle those who sat in chairs…determined to come to terms with this new found discomfort.

Strangely enough…once I realized (perhaps three days too late) that this was going to be a matter of acceptance…and that my mind would simply have to stop reacting to the pain and discomfort…it wasn’t actually that bad. You realize you have reached a ‘special’ place when the feeling of your legs draining of blood becomes an enormously pleasant sensation compared to that of your spinal column squeezing itself into your underwear.

By the seventh day I had adopted a mildly manic depressive state – strange for such a ‘balanced, calm and emotionally retarded individual’ – but there I was – undulating between highs and lows throughout the day…peaking at lunch when they would serve even the smallest amount of chocolate with our standard bowl of vegetarian creativity.

Then of course there is the veritable symphony of our bodies functioning amidst the deafening silence. It appeared by day four that most individuals had decided that given they were surrounded by people who could not laugh, snicker, make eye contact or gesture…and were enduring one of the most wonderful experiences of physical and mental torture…that it was a gaseous free-for-all. I have not heard such a wonderful array of public flatulence in all my life.

So after ten days of being trapped in my head…a scary place even when you leave the light on…I emerged back into the real world a changed person. Despite facing 164 emails and a week of classes to catch up on…I have never felt more at peace in my life…and as I now try to integrate two hours of meditation practice into my daily schedule…we shall see whether this new found calmness and peace will remain.