With my recent trip home to see my family, I thought it was about time I included some pictures of the other two members of the Philip household...the more intelligent members of our family. These two bull terriers receive constant attention, their own couch, own knitted jumpers, have their birthdays celebrated with cake and presents and rarely wake before midday...in other words...despite being considered relatively stupid animals (especially Jake...who is quite retarded)...they have my parents completely figured out and consequently live the easy life.Jake, the first dog to enter the house, is perhaps the dumbest animal I have ever come across. This is said
in an affectionate way of course, but damn, Jake has the ability to make inanimate objects look intelligent and worldly. He will chase a stick until he passes out and rolls into a gutter, he has been stuck in wet cement, and is an embarrassment to take walking. Children and their mothers will run into their homes, despite the fact that Jake is barely able to coordinate scratching himself, let alone attack someone...and finally, after no doubt being ridiculed in the park for peeing like a girl at the age of 3, he has now started to attempt to lift his leg. Unfortunately, such a balancing act requires a degree of coordination, and thus nine times out of ten Jake will end up sitting in the bush he was attempting to hover over, still peeing of course. Perhaps his most admirable and enduring act of defiance is his unwillingness to do anything he is told. Most notably, when told to sit at a road-crossing Jake will act as if he can't hear a word you are saying/yelling, and then, finally realizing that he is supposed to be sitting, will turn and sit with his back to the road...somehow making the poor person walking Jake look even more ridiculous than him.Their list of accomplishments is both long and impressive...and grows regularly...here are just a few:
Eaten:
1 leather jacket
1 chair
1 handbag
1 sprinkler system
3 pairs of shoes
2 pillows
Broken:
3 windows (including two expensive frosted glass windows)
1 door
In other words...these two dogs have turned out to be much more expensive than their original purchase prices...but well worth the entertainment value.
Pictured: Jake and Shelley...dumb and dumber.
2 comments:
you know i can't help but feel a little offended by these comments i mean you could have included jakes many admirable traits like barking alot to alert you of the falling leaves outside or that evil bird that few across the yard and his wonderful charm you know like when he sits right on top of your head just because he loves you or burps right next to you and he is extremly obediant just because i call his name doesn't necesssarily mean that i wanted him to come he knows this even if i subconciously don't so very clever. now as for shelley well she is very brave and not scared of the dark at all and in the thundestorm last night i wasn't woken by her shaking little body as it tried to climb under the covers no not at all and just because when she gets worried and licks herself so much that she not only ends up in puddle of her own spit but also with quite a nasty rash that will require me to spend more money on cortizone injections doesn't mean that she isn't an extremly noble animal i just think that you could include some more positive elements in your blog errol what have they ever done to you except for all those shoes you've lost (i think theres a couple more since you left) and that mild concusion from their enthusiasm. really think about it.
No offense, but those are the scariest looking animals I've ever seen....
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